


Here It's Safe

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Series: Lis Writes Vox Machina [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Asexual Keyleth (Critical Role), Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: Keyleth needs some advice so she goes to the only person she thinks can help, Scanlan.Or Keyleth is ace
Relationships: Keyleth & Scanlan Shorthalt, Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role)
Series: Lis Writes Vox Machina [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026871
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	Here It's Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's me! You're local ace who is currently hyper fixated on critical role! Here we got some projecting and a healthy dose of hurt and comfort for ya
> 
> I'm not finished with Vox Machina yet, so please keep the comments spoiler free :D

Scanlan is just turning down for the night when he hears two soft knocks on his door. He frowns, Pike isn’t here and Grog would knock far harsher than that. With a sigh he gets up and opens the door. On the other side is Keyleth, wringing her hands nervously. 

“Hi, uh,” she takes a quick breath. “I...I wanted to talk to you about something. I-I need your advice.” 

Scanlan stops himself from making a joke or laughing at her awkwardness. Maybe it’s his fatherly instincts finally coming in, but he knows that will just scare her off. And he really does care about her, about all of them. 

“Come on in.” Scanlan steps aside, holding the door for her, and leads her to sit at the chair in the room while he hops on the table so they can be eye level. Scanlan watches her for a moment before asking, “What’s got you all messed up?”

She blushes a little and sighs before she says, “Scanlan, you know things about...intimacy right?”

Scanlan nearly chokes trying to hold back a bark of laughter. He quickly composes himself, “Uh, yeah, yeah I would say that I have quite a bit of experience with intimacy as you say.” He looks at her wryly, “Keyleth, I’m going to be honest with you, I would like nothing less than to hear about your sexy times with Vax.” 

“No that’s not what I-” Keyleth groans, her head falling into her hands as she lightly tugs on her hair. She looks back up at him. “That’s not what I want to talk about.” Scanlan gestures for her to continue. Keyleth sits up and collects her thoughts before tentatively saying, Keyleth shakes her head, her eyes welling with tears. “I-I think something is wrong with me. Every time Vax and I are together and things start to get more intimate, I just don’t feel anything it feels wrong and I hate it.” She looks at him, desperate for answers, “Have you ever heard of someone...who doesn’t want to do that with someone? Like someone who doesn’t feel lust or attraction in that way?”

Scanlan frowns, thinking for a moment. He hasn’t heard of something like Keyleth is describing, but he can imagine that there must be people who feel that way, even if he doesn’t. After all, there’s no single thing that everyone living creature likes or wants. 

Scanlan chooses his words very carefully. “I haven’t heard of something like that, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist and there aren’t people who feel that way.” He watches her face as she quickly wipes her tears and an awful thought comes to his head. “Keyleth,” Scanlan puts a hand on her shoulder. “Has Vax ever pressured or forced you into being with him?” 

“What?” She snaps to look at him with confusion. “No.” She says immediately, her voice deep and resoundingly true. “Of course not, he would never do that. He stops when I ask him to.” She shakes her head. “I think he thinks that I’m just scared or that I’m waiting until we’re married or something.” 

“Why don’t you tell him the truth?” Scanlan asks gently. “Tell him what’s going on.”

“What if he doesn’t want to stay with me?” Keyleth asks him, her voice full of uncertainty and fear that tugs at Scanlan’s heart. He blames his softness entirely on Kaylie. “I love him, Scanlan. I don’t want to lose him.”

“You won’t.”

She looks at him incredulously, “How can you be so sure? Would you want a relationship without sex?” Keyleth doesn’t even wait for him to answer, she already knows what he’ll say. “Vax is normal. He feels the same way about sex that you do, that Vex does, that any normal person does.” 

“Keyleth,” Scanlan says sternly. “You can’t think like that. Vax loves you a ridiculous amount. Maybe he’s willing to go without sex for you, maybe he feels the same way you do. You won’t know until you talk to him. And I know it’s terrifying, but you need to, Keyleth.” 

“What if he hates me?” Her voice breaks a little. 

Scanlan sighs, “Then he’s going to have all of Vox Machina to answer to. Plus we both know Percy would kick his ass so fast.” Keyleth laughs a little, drying her tears. 

“Thank you.” She squeezes his hand. 

“That’s what friends are for,” he smiles. 

* * *

It takes Keyleth three days to build up the courage to talk to Vax. She tries to pretend like nothing is the matter, but she’s never been a good liar and Vax is very good at seeing through her. She knows that Vax knows that something is wrong, he’s been so incredibly caring and wonderful to her that it makes it even harder to bring it up. She doesn’t just want to spring it on him out of the blue so she waits until they’re both in their bedroom and getting ready for the night. 

After changing into her nightgown, Keyleth emerges from behind the paper screen and nervously approaches Vax who is lighting the lamp in the corner of the room. He turns to look at her with a soft smile that quickly turns into a look of concern when he sees her face. “Everything okay?” 

“Can we...can we talk?” Keyleth asks. 

Vax nods immediately, shaking out the match to give her his full attention. Keyleth leads him to sit down on the bed, fidgeting nervously with the ribbon on her nightgown. Vax sits beside her, a few inches between them. Keyleth opens her mouth to start talking a few times, but she can’t think of how to start this conversation. 

“Kiki?” Vax puts his hand on her shoulder after a moment. “Are you alright?” 

She nods, “I’m fine.” She shakes her head, rapidly losing the confidence that she had been building up. “It’s nothing. We should just go to bed, it’s not a big deal-” Keyleth starts to stand, but Vax pulls her back down. 

“Deep breath.” She does as he says and Vax squeezes her hands, looking at her with soft eyes. “Now, what do we need to talk about?” 

She takes another long breath and takes her hand from his, avoiding his eyes by looking at her lap. “So, um, our relationship has been getting more...intimate.” Blush creeps onto her cheeks as she continues. “And I was talking to Scanlan and he helped me realize something. Something that you deserve to know before we get too far into this.” She gestures between them. “And it might make you hate me or-”

He touches her cheek, stopping her. As she turns to face him, Vax smiles, “There is nothing you could say that would make me love you any less.” 

She can’t meet his eyes, “Don’t say that. You can’t promise that.” 

“Keyleth,” he takes her hand and when she looks up at him she finds worry and love in his eyes. “I can and I will.” 

“Don’t.” Keyleth stands and walks quickly away from him so she stands in the middle of the room. Keeping her back to Vax, she collects herself, pressing her shaking hands against her nightgown. She could leave his room right now and he’ll be none the wiser. But she knows that his rejection will only hurt worse later. She takes another deep breath. She’s taken down dragons, she’s talked to leaders from around the world, she can tell her boyfriend that she has no interest in sleeping with him. 

“You’re scaring me, Keyleth,” Vax says. He thankfully doesn’t move from the bed. 

“I’m sorry,” she wipes her hands across her cheeks and turns back to face him. “I don’t mean to, I-I just….this is really hard to say.” 

He gives her a comforting smile and crosses to her, taking both of her hands in his. “Just say whatever you need to. I’m listening whenever you’re ready.”

Keyleth nods, gathering her strength for a moment before saying, “I don’t want to have sex with you. Ever.” Keyleth finds herself unable to meet his eyes, pulling her hands from his before he can drop them and wrapping them around her stomach. “I probably should have told you before we got together so you would have known what you were getting into, but I didn’t know that I felt that way when we first got together and I-I’m really sorry, Vax. I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks as she apologizes again. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, just please don’t break my heart anymore than you have to.” 

As Keyleth falls silent, her eyes fixed on the floor, she waits for Vax to say something or to do something. But he doesn’t. He stays quiet. He’s letting her down easy, Keyleth realizes, he’s doing this so he doesn’t have to tell her what he thinks of her. 

“I’m sorry,” she says before turning around abruptly, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks, as she runs towards the door.

A hand on her wrist stops her. Keyleth runs around to see Vax looking at her, just the same as ever, although a little sadder and more worried. But his eyes are just as soft and full of love. He’s still quiet as he gently reaches up and wipes some of her tears away before pulling her into a tight hug. Keyleth collapses into his arms, pressing her head into his chest. Vax’s arms are tight around her. 

“I love you so much, Kiki,” he whispers. “And I’m sorry if I ever did anything to make you believe that I would react poorly to what you told me. Thank you for telling me and I...I am so proud of you.” 

Keyleth sobs a little at that and his arms tighten around her even more. He doesn’t hate her. He still loves her. They stay like that for a few more moments before Vax pulls away, taking her face in his hands and so gently wiping away her tears. Keyleth leans into his hand, pressing a kiss to his palm. 

“I don’t care about sex, Keyleth. I care about you,” he kisses her softly. “And if you don’t want to have sex then we won’t.” She blinks back more tears at that and Vax pulls her into another hug. “Keyleth,” Vax begins as he holds her at arm’s length, “has anything we’ve done so far made you uncomfortable?” He asks. 

She shakes her head, “No.” 

“Good, good,” he mutters to himself. “You’ll tell me if I do something that does?” She nods. Vax squeezes her hand, “If you don’t mind, at some point in the future I would like to have a long talk about boundaries and things. I don’t want to overstep by accident.” 

Keyleth smiles and nestles into his chest, “I love you.” She feels Vax press a kiss to the top of her head as he repeats the sentiment.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr- @romeoanjulietyouwish
> 
> I have a bunch of m9 and vm fics up if you want to read those too :D


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